Facing the fear

I feel like the beneficiary of what is, as those who know me would readily testify, a small miracle. It is a very simple thing: I have had two solid days of focus, productivity and, I think largely as a result of that, satisfaction. I feel happier and lighter (in a worries-weighing-on-me way, not a post-Christmas-diet way) than I have in a depressingly long time. So three cheers for early mornings and crossing things off the to-do list.

One example of this list is my bicycle. As part of my efforts to live a greener lifestyle, I brought my bicycle over a couple of months ago. However, very soon some bright spark of a student at the school I work at lowered the seat and let some air out of my tyres while I was teaching. I didn't realise this until I was halfway home, me not being the most technically-minded of human beings. (Hang on, something isn't quite right with this bike. What is it? It's not the handlebars, it's not the pedals...)

I came equipped with pump and bike spanner, but I hit a snag. I had never done any kind of maintenance work on my bike myself - I usually turn it over to my dad or to a professional paid for by my dad. (Ditto my old car). I was - deepbreathconfessiontime - afraid. I didn't think I would be able to figure it out, let alone do it right. So the bicycle has sat in the corner, looking at me reproachfully, and has figured in ever more strident terms (Bicycle! BICYCLE!! BIKE!!!!!) on my to-do list. This evening, I took a deep breath, hauled the bike into the living room (biggest floor space) and had a look at the pump. And lo and behold, it was easy! The bike is now ready to be ridden to all my appointments for the next week (snow depending), thus saving me (a) the walk or (b) the tram fare.

Talk about a lesson in having a go. It's so silly to worry about such a simple little task, and yet this procrastination is something I do over and over again. Hopefully this good streak will last the week. That is my goal. Is it achievable? Well, I've only eaten three biscuits today, which is brilliant for me, so this may be a good sign.