The value of being able to say no

I've been reminded this week of the importace of something referred to on some blogs as "FU money". It's pretty self-explanatory - it's about not living paycheck to paycheck, but having an emergency fund that means you are able to step back from a job when you need to.

A friend of mine is struggling at work. The long hours and unreasonable demands are pushing them to their limits, leaving them stressed, sleep deprived and utterly drained. It's a vaguely familiar spectre, reminding me of my time in consultancy where - however interesting the work and fun the colleagues - I felt like work had to take precedence over everything else. This is not ideal. Work is good for us, but no job is worth getting burn out.

I am extremely lucky to work where I do. I adore my job - I wake up and I look forward to getting into the office. Some of that is because the work I do is so interesting, varied and challenging - but a lot is because I work for a supportive employer who wants me to do well. My boss tells me to go home when I'm in late, instead of reprimanding me for coming in late. My extra hours are logged and I can take them as time off in lieu. I get a good day's work done and then I go home, and then I repeat the cycle. When something happens - my mother's surgery, for instance - my team recognise that anyone can answer the email, but only I can sit in A&E, so they tell me to be where I need to be, and not to worry about papers and deadlines. This is worth more than a top-drawer salary to me.

But I do remember - and see - what it is like to work somewhere that has to squeeze you like a lemon for the business model to function. I don't want to take my current circumstances for granted - I want the choice to be able to say "FU" if I find myself there again. I already have the comfort of a good savings cushion, and the confidence of being able to live on a low income. This gives me a peace of mind, and today I am really valuing that.

Slow but mobile?

After a year in the UK, I'm now back in Brussels for a brief stint. It feels really good to be back! 

I don't know if it's the time of year or something about Brussels, but here I am, reviving the blog and seeking some slowness again. I think you feel you can have a slow life in Brussels, while London doesn't allow for that possibility. Here, there are more parks. You can walk to work. There are farmers' markets in every square. The main thing though is the size - it no longer takes forever to get from A to B, and you can genuinely ring up some friends on Saturday evening to propose a dinner party and be sitting down together within the hour.

There are some aspects of this life I can dive straight back into. Seasonal cooking! I've been squashing (see what I did there) as many different variants of pumpkin into my recipes as I can, and discovering new types along the way. (Spaghetti pumpkin - so easy, so yummy, so versatile...)

But many other aspects are harder to embrace when you find yourself changing jobs, home and even country every 6 to 12 months, which is the situation I am currently in. I absolutely love my job, both what I am doing now and the future prospects it offers, but the scheme I am on gives me no control over where I go and no ability to plan ahead. I get rotated every six months, and I am told 6-8 weeks beforehand where I will go next.

 

This means that things involving long time-periods (like brewing fruit wine), or space for storage (like homemade jam) or equipment (like a sewing machine) or bulky ingredients (like soap-making) are pretty much out. It does not make sense logistically, financially or for my sanity to lug large quantities of oil and lye around.

The one thing I have brought with me is my knitting. Needles do not take up much space, and I no longer have a stash of wool. 

 

But all the oh so many things I really want to do - and which I could very feasibly do in terms of time if I were living here longer - just don't make sense. A fruit tree in a pot - what do I do with it when I leave? Build a small worm-compost box - ditto.

How do you manage this compromise? Any ideas for more mobile simplicity?

A Jonah week

I'm having one of those weeks, and it's only Tuesday. I keep making mistakes at work - silly little mistakes, and several big whoppers. Of course this happens the week of my review. Of course.

One of the principles that we strive for - whether we are simple living, homesteading, minimalist or any other related philosophy - is resilience. It's in many ways a more useful concept even than sustainability, in my opinion, focusing on building the ability to absorb shock locally. Resilient food chains focus on local rather than organic, for example.

Resilience is a personal skill too - the ability to adapt to a changing environment, to dust oneself off and keep on putting the nose to the grindstone.

Today I am practicing resilience at work. I'm taking a deep breath, making a cup of tea, and taking a few minutes to be warmed and cheered by the early spring sunshine. I'm slowing down - rushing means more mistakes - doing each thing that comes my way carefully and checking it before sending.

One thing at a time - that's at the heart of simple living, isn't it? By doing one thing at a time, and focusing on doing it well, we get far more done than when we try to multitask, constantly connected to multiple inputs. One thing a time, one foot in front of the other. The weekend will get here, and with it my seeds for my new garden, a visit from family, and maybe even another batch of yoghurt.

Live to work or work to live?

I work for a consultancy, which means that the workload varies hugely because each individual client will bring you ad-hoc projects which you need to do to their schedule, rather than asking them if they'd mind until you've cleared another client's work off your desk. 

This means that very very occasionally I have very little on my plate, and a lot of the time I am juggling multiple projects on very different issues on tight deadlines, while still having to complete certain daily, weekly and monthly tasks supporting my colleagues. (For example, I check a large number of websites and compile a summary email of relevant developments every day).

This is to some extent the nature of the sector, but the level of work we handle is also a reflection of the company in general and my boss in particular. My boss works crazy hours - 11pm on a Friday and 6am on a Saturday - and gets frustrated when I'm not immediately responsive. It should be noted also that senior staff are paid by the hour, while I get paid until 5.36 pm and every minute past that is unremunerated.

I think we have very different ideas of a normal workload in this sense - I am happy to muck in on a weekend if a completely unforeseeable crisis arises and we have to do damage control, but not on a regular basis or a matter of routine. I enjoy (most of) my work but I also enjoy time at home, and I need time to unwind, destress and switch off in order to carry on juggling the next day without dropping any of the balls.

I think in many ways we (society in general, not just my company) need to change things around. The goal should not be working until 11pm, but that all team members are stretched, challenged, envigorated and then sent home at a reasonable hour. Whether through taking on more staff or changing how the work is handled, the goal should be for everyone to leave at 5.30 or at the latest 6. When I leave at 6.30 I always feel I have to apologise to my colleagues for leaving so early, even though I know that working late means I don't sleep well and then work much slower the next day.

I don't want to have to choose between a fulfilling and challenging career, and being able to be home in time to eat dinner with my boyfriend, and do a little knitting. Why do they have to conflict, why is there a tension? And this is without having children - I can well imagine that being a far more frustrating part of life to be conflicting with workload.

I would like to see companies reward and incentivise employees who can manage their workload effectively within a shorter working day, rather than creating a culture that normalises long hours and effectively penalises employees who leave earlier.

My secret weapon

The last two days have been mad - it's been a big conference at work, where all the network contacts from across Europe and around the world get together with lots of training and presentations and networking meetings. The talking goes on well into the night, and the conference-bit starts early, so for example I was at networking drinks in a hotel bar until 2am but still had to be functional at a briefing at 8am.

Thank goodness this doesn't last but it is very intense, and many of my routines and 'slowing down' efforts just go out of the window for a couple of days. But one thing I have kept on top of - I have still managed to do almost daily loads of laundry, so the pile-up of housework is nowhere near as bad as it could have been. My secret weapon is a washing machine with a timer function - I could load the machine and set it before leaving the house, and set the cycle to finish when I came back to the house to change before dinner. I felt very virtuous and efficient and organised! I love this machine - a bit too much, probably.

But things have finished up now and I'm looking forward to slowing down over the weekend.

Falling off and getting back on

So as you've probably noticed, May and June were pretty quiet around here. At least when it comes to blogging.

I started a new job at the beginning of May (although I've been a bit absent for a while due to family health issues). My new job is fantastic - I'm now in a small but international organisation. It's incredibly vibrant, everyone at every level is friendly, supportive and dedicated, and there is a strong sense of purpose, drive and achievement through everything we do. (And we do a lot.) The only downside is that the hours are long and inflexible.

Therapy

Roll up! Roll up! For a limited time only! Stress-saving technique! Improve your work and home life! Impress your colleagues!

What if I told you that you almost certainly already have all the ingredients necessary for my stress-busting therapy tip, which will also help impress your colleagues with an air of professionalism and competence?

Oh yes.

Fantasy

Am I the only one? Does anyone else struggle with this problem?

Today I found myself distracted at work with day-dreams, illicit fantasies - of baking, crochet and curtains. It feels so illicit- betraying decades of struggle and progress for women's rights - but I'm not sure I'd choose the endless work in an isolated environment where I derive little or no satisfaction and have no sense of being valued (ie my job). For five minutes I am indulging in the weakness of wishing - prompted by the long-awaited and long-trumpeted pay rise offer. After promises of a significant offer repeated vaguely but enticingly over several months, I have been informed that my contributions to the organisation are being rewarded with the princely sum of a €15 pay rise. Before tax. That's what, €7 gross? Just about enough for a box of chocolates. I think I'd rather have the chocolates.

Does anyone else find themselves struggling with this? Is it just this job or is this a bigger question?