Unexpectednesses

It's been awhile, internet-y-folks. There has been much change and drama.

There was the unexpected new job, with new challenges, new responsibilities, and much stress and joy.

This was followed by unexpectedly getting a place on the scheme of my dreams, which means four years of moving around learning all sorts of fabulous things and having the chance to make a difference in some small way and getting to spend much more time with my family and loved ones 'back home' and getting paid for it.

Underneath all this was the rumbling, painful, horrible tummy ache of I'm-not-sure-this-relationship-is-right-for-me. A tummy ache of now nearly two years' duration. And I realise that much of my life - my location, my hobbies - has been built up around my relationship, and I'm horrified to find that I'm not sure what I want in life. But I'm desperately afraid that this is precisely what I don't want.

I'm in the process of moving - moving backwards and forwards at the same time, going home while simultaneously stepping - leaping - into new adventures. But much remains unresolved.

When life is confusing, I start knitting jumpers. I guess you guys know the feeling.